


A step to recovery

by loveamongstars



Series: Whumptober 2020 [9]
Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Gen, Medication, Medication Gone Wrong, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Therapy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-23
Updated: 2020-10-23
Packaged: 2021-03-09 00:42:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,514
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27165409
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/loveamongstars/pseuds/loveamongstars
Summary: After returning to Hawaii Steve is working on recovering. He is however faced with some side effectsWhumptober prompts: 11. Psych 101 [ Crying ] 15. Into the unknown [ Science gone wrong ] 18. Panic at the Disco [ Panic attack ]
Series: Whumptober 2020 [9]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1953688
Comments: 2
Kudos: 40
Collections: Whumptober 2020





	A step to recovery

**11\. Psych 101 [ Crying ] 15. Into the unknown [ Science gone wrong ] 18. Panic at the Disco [ Panic attack ]**

Being away from Hawaii did a lot for Steve. The distance allowed him to reflect on what happened in the last ten years, especially with him. It allowed him to get the strength he needed in order to face his demons, actually he needed a lot of strength to acknowledge the sheer size of his demons first. To say the least, they were pretty terrifyingly huge. As soon as he came to that conclusion, that strength, Steve knew, as strong as he may be, he did not want to face them alone. He did not have to face them alone. And so he returned home, to the people that cared about him, loved him and would stand with him, no matter what. 

There were some interesting conversations after his return:  
The first one obviously with the governor, to ensure that him seeking help would be okay with the governor.   
The second one, that was perhaps the most painful one: the ones with doctors, the one where he actively asked for help.  
The third was the one he thought would be the most painful, but it wasn’t at all. It was the easiest out of the three of them: Danny. When he sat Danny down, when he told him what the doctors had just told him, Danny gave him the faintest little smile, before he simply moved forward to hug Steve. It took him a moment to realize what was happening, but then he hugged him back and listened to what Danny was whispering against him: “Babe, I’m proud of you, okay? We got this.” They got this.  
He told Lou next, but it went no different than the conversation with Danny. The rest he gave the basic information that they needed in order to understand why he was back on the island, but not back at work. Now that would take a while of healing and this time Steve wanted to actually listen to the doctors for a change.

Danny made a point of driving Steve to the doctors as often as he could with work, he was at Steve’s every day for a couple of hours, except for during that one case, but Steve was at work himself for that one. A missing child with time running against them warranted him making an exception. He was more back-up, though. He manned the computers, allowing the rest of them to be in the field without one having to stay behind. As much as he wanted to be out there, the longer he was on meds and had therapy, the clearer it was for him that right now, he was a liability to his team. He was working on that, though.

Against all odds they saved the little girl and got to return her to her parents. That one was a week ago now. In this week Steve, sanctioned by his doctor and the Governor started working for TC, just a few tours at a time, to gage the situation. The goal was to get back o Five-0 in the long run. When he came home that evening, he took Eddie for a long, long walk on which he stopped by a small gym. On a whim, he entered it and signed up for a few classes, as advised by TC actually. It couldn’t hurt, right? But something was weird even as he walked home with Eddie. Eddie, seemingly noticing it, stuck very close to him. His legs were heavy. Every step seemed to take more and more strength out of him. This certainly was not normal. He considered calling Danny, but decided against it, when his house came into view. He could just sit and wait it out. At least he hoped that.

When he reached for the doorknob, he froze. Warmth. His hand was warm. Steve looked down to it, finding it bloody. Where the hell did the blood even come from? There couldn’t be blood on his hand.

“Do you see that, Eddie?” He looked at the dog, who stared at him like nothing happened. Usually blood on his handler should alarm him, should make him bark. He did no such thing. Something was very, very wrong. Steve pushed the door open regardless. He needed to be inside and…try to collect his thoughts, figure out what was going on. Instead he felt a sharp pain in his abdomen, the area painfully familiar to him. It knocked the breath from him. Breathing heavily, he put his hands onto his side, not daring to even look down. There was a noise, he was sure. He stared around, expecting an intruder any second. 

“Eddie, go find…Eddie?” The dog sat in front of him. Usually he would go and at least bark at the intruder, but this time he did not such thing. It really made Steve question what was going on. Eddie was reliable. There was no way he would miss this. If he wasn’t alerting him to the intruder, was there even one? No. But…the pain was real. And the way his stomach turned violently, too. Steve let himself sink to the floor, leaned forward as his stomach started to cramp. He coughed, trying to catch his breath, trying to not give in to how his body seemed to tell him he was failing. He…needed to find out what this was. He needed…someone who could think straight. He needed help. He needed Danny. He needed Danny. But… his phone, where the hell was his phone? Steve tried to remember where his phone was, but the pain, the nausea, everything was fogging up his brain and worse. And then a momentary lucid thought came to him that he could grab onto: He didn’t need a phone. He just had to get to the kitchen. He turned to crawl there, but had to stop as he threw up. This was not good at all. He crawled a little slower after, his body shaking, from exhaustion and everything. Finally he reached the kitchen, the home of the tiny assistant Danny had given him.

“Alexa, call…call Danno.” And she did. He was so damn glad she did.

“Do you have any idea how late it is, Steven?” Danny’s voice was so damn good to hear, as annoyed as it seemed. He knew, of course, that it was late and given that Danny had to get up early for work, it was too late to call, but…this was an emergency, literally.

“Need…help…” He heard Danny move, so he knew help in form of Danny was on the way. Danny would have an idea what to do.

“I’m coming, Steve.” He didn’t need the confirmation, but he took it. The device never disconnected, but it didn’t have to. He heard the door close in Danny’s house and he knew he was on his was. He knew it was a matter of minutes. He just leaned against the door and pulled his legs up, trying to remain as small as he could, while putting pressure onto the aching body parts, without even knowing why. It made no sense, but his body…seemed to tell his mind it was what it needed.

The barking of Eddie could be clearly heard as soon as Danny got out of his car. He let himself into the house quickly and soon realized why Eddie was barking like that. Steve was curled up on the kitchen floor, unmoving. The poor dog had lost two handlers, of course that was something that would not sit well with him. Danny did the only thing that made sense to him in this moment: Comfort Eddie first and then get to Steve. He could see Steve breathing, so he could wait until he petted Eddie and gently guided him out of his way. 

Steve was not a pretty picture. He was covered in sweat, obviously in pain and there were tears, so man tears, Danny could not handle it properly. 

“Hey, hey, it’s me.” Steve all but jumped, but relaxed once he saw him, not much, but enough to show Danny that he was still able to recognize him, which was good. Danny moved his hand to Steve’s forehead. He was cold to the touch, smelled like he just threw up, shook hard, the sweat, something was absolutely wrong. A few theories came to his mind, all of them circling around Steve’s medication. But first he had to get him somewhere comfortable. He was lucid enough, conscious, so he could help him up and move him to the couch, where he covered him in a blanket. Danny rushed upstairs to check on Steve’s medication. Nothing indicated an overdose or even just him missing taking it. So that was not the problem…but what was? Danny was concerned. He knew he was not able to handle this properly. The physical reaction seen in Steve was there, after all and without a proper explanation, he could at most alleviate the symptoms, not take care of it. He needed professionals for it. But first…

“Steve, hey, did you do anything differently today? Different food, meds, anything at all?”

“You’re bleeding…” he slurred, even those were apparently hard on him. He was bleeding? Danny looked down on himself and then sighed. Steve was seeing things, probably also a symptom. He had no idea if what he was doing was right, but it was what he could think of right now.

“I know. Steve, did you do anything differently than usual today?”

“Signed….up…signed up for yoga.”

“Yeah, pretty sure Yoga does not do that to you, but I have something work on, now. I will get you help, Steve, I promise.” The taller man nodded slowly. Danny was honestly glad what the vacation had done for Steve, because he was accepting help, he was accepting that he needed help and that made his life so much easier and threatened him less with new grey hair. But now he had to take care of the situation and as he knew he was in way over his head, well he had to call help. Once the operator picked up, he started to talk.

“This is Detective Danny Williams with the Five-0 Taskforce. I have a medical emergency. My partner is displaying cold sweat, disorientation, nausea, pain. He is on an experimental PTSD drug. There is no evidence on an overdose or medication missed. Otherwise he is stable.” After giving them the address, the dispatcher assured him that help was on the way. Now it was on him to just…keep Steve with him, hopefully keep him comfortable. 

“Babe, where does it hurt?” he asked Steve. The way he looked up at him told him a full story: Where didn’t it hurt? He wished there was more he could do for him, but there wasn’t. “Listen to me, help is on the way. The are taking us to the hospital where they will help you and I will stay with you the entire time.”

“Thanks…I don’t…”

“They will find out what is doing this, okay? You’ll be okay.” He assumed it had something to do with the experimental nature of the drug he was on. They - as in both Steve and Danny - had agreed in Steve taking part in the test study. He didn’t remember all possible complications and side effects, but he guessed he would find a lot of them on the list. So he guessed that test failed, but it was worth a shot. He gently ran his hand through Steve’s hair. “You will be fine. You survived a lot worse, didn’t you?” He watched Steve nod, taking it as a very good sign. Truth be told he knew it was not a good sign actually. A setback like that could easily destroy all the progress Steve made. But he was here for that, too. He knew from the beginning, that this healing they embarked on - and Danny firmly counted himself into this, because he was not going to leave Steve alone with this - would take time, bring setbacks and so on. So this was just the first of probably many setbacks. He was prepared to take it. He was prepared to be with him through it. 

“You’ll be okay,” he whispered again as he already heard the ambulance pull up. Danny was relieved at how calm the paramedics were, they talked to Steve, told him about every touch, every motion before doing it, obviously having been told he suffered from mental health issues. He would be sure to mention that positively at the hospital. 

Steve’s doctor was on call so he greeted them kindly and put Steve up in a nice, slightly dimmed room as they ran some tests. Danny got to stay by his side. He hated seeing Steve like this, distressed, in pain, disoriented, this was not the man Danny was used to, but it was also the man he knew lived beneath the amour of steel that was slowly breaking around him. It broke his heart, but he knew he could be fixed. He was confident in it. A stable social structure was essential to his healing.

Not long after the doctor, after administering a sedative and painkillers, sat down with Danny to explain things to him. Danny’s hunch had been right: It was side effects and those sadly meant they had to take Steve off of the medication entirely. In turn the doctor recommended to keep Steve not only overnight, but for the next night, too, in order to place him under new medication. Danny agreed, but naturally they would speak with Steve first. He had nowhere to be, though. He could easily stay overnight and something told him Steve would agree. He was cooperating so far, there was no reason he should not cooperate after such an experience.

When he returned to Steve’s room, he was still awake, but a lot calmer.

“I’m sorry,” Steve whispered.

“For what exactly?”

“This…episode?”

“The side effects of your medication? Are you nuts? Steve, you did not cause them. You did everything by the book. It is an unfortunate accident that you have them now, but it’s just that, an accident. I am sorry you had to go through it.”

“Wasn’t alone.” No Danny guessed he wasn’t and he was glad of it.

“And you won’t be alone tonight. Scoot the fuck over, I am staying or are you going to give me a hard time about it?” Steve did not respond verbally. He just scooted over and turned to Danny as soon as the detective had climbed into the bed. For a moment they looked at each other, before Danny just sighed, realizing that asking for a hug was not in the cards from Steve that night, even though Danny could tell Steve would do good with it. And so he moved forward enough to wrap his arms around him.

“I got you.”


End file.
